On a Skepchick, a skeptical blog that I frequent, there was a question posed about spanking children. Was it ok to do so? What does it teach children? Is it an effective tool in the arsenal of parenting?
And here is was response:
I believe that it is never acceptable to hit a child. My job as a parent is to raise my child to be an independent person and thinker. That said, it is not ok for one person to hit another when they disagree.
I was spanked occasionally as a child, and yelled at as well. I understand the urge to do so to my own children, but triumphing over my instincts is one of the things that got me into skepticism in the first place.
Even for skeptical parents, intuition is NOT a basis for making decisions. Rational thought, and critical thinking are. Children are people, albeit much smaller. It is not ok to hurt other people unless it is in self-defense, bottom line.
When your child goes into the "real" world, they will not be allowed to hit the people they disagree with, nor will they have someone there to "whack" them when they make a mistake. The purpose of parenting is to raise children who can make decisions in a critical manner with rational thought.
Violence as a behavior modification system is neither rational nor ethical. I truly believe that people spank because it makes you feel good to hit something that pisses you off, bottom line.
Now before many of my friends anf family who spank jump on my ass, I do not think that people who spank are wrong, evil, or abusing their children. But I do think its wrong, and I think that it does not work.
My children are no better or worse behaved than children who are spanked. In fact, here is what the research say about spanking:
From the AMERICAN ACADEMY OF PEDIATRICS, Committee on Psychosocial Aspects of Child and Family Health, Guidance for Effective Discipline (stolen from Skepchick's Elyse):
Despite its common acceptance, and even advocacy
for its use, spanking is a less effective strategy
than time-out or removal of privileges for reducing
undesired behavior in children. Although spanking
may immediately reduce or stop an undesired behavior,
its effectiveness decreases with subsequent
use. The only way to maintain the initial effect of
spanking is to systematically increase the intensity
with which it is delivered, which can quickly escalate
into abuse. Thus, at best, spanking is only effective
when used in selective infrequent situations.
Now consensual, sexual spanking between two or more adults? Bring it on!
