The Fat One in the Middle

Point of Story - Dr. Oz's Wife Does Not Listen to Him Either

Dr. Memmet Oz said he will get the H1N1 vaccine, but his wife will not, and the kids will go along with her, as in most families.

via www.cnn.com

So your wife is crazy and does not trust your medical advice, hmmm.

Crazy Anti-Vaccine Fear Mongering

A Kansas City clinic has set a disturbing precedent by kicking out a two-year old boy because his mother had failed to follow childhood vaccinations schedule guidelines set by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.

via survivalstation.org

You know, I guess I should not expect more from a blog entitled Survival Station, but I would have thought that the most likely libertarian leaning writers of this post would have thought it completely proper for a PRIVATE pediatric practice to decide who their patients will be.

Also, in this post, they say they do not understand what the practice means when it states it is doing this as a protection for others coming to the clinic. The author states that since everyone else is vaccinated, what harm would these unvaccinated children pose?

When children who have immune disorders or are too young to be vaccinated are UNABLE to be vaccinated, they need to NEVER come into contact with people who have the diseases that vaccines prevent, like whooping cough. If you bring your unvaccinated child to a pediatric clinic, and YOUR child has whooping cough, your child can spread it to the weaker patients.

Besides, with health care being a free market, it's not like you can MANDATE doctors to provide care when to do so would be disruptive to their profits.

Right?

Now THIS I Can Get On Board With!! 2012 Done Right

LoveHoney Sqweel Oral Sex Simulator - Free UK Delivery on Clitoral Vibrators at LoveHoney

Oh you Brits!!

World Exclusive! Sqweel ® is a revolution in orgasms! The sensational new patent-pending oral sex simulator has a wheel of ten teasing tongues that will lap you to orgasm time and time again. Sorry guys, you're not even needed for oral sex any more!

via www.lovehoney.co.uk

2012 - Even My Love for John Cusak and Amanda Peet Can't Overcome This

Oh Ben Radford. I am so so sorry that you had to go see this.

A Spanking Ban In The U.S.? : NPR

Sweden became the first country to ban corporal punishment of children thirty years ago. Now, more than 24 countries have similar bans on corporal punishment in the home, and more than than 100 countries ban schoolteachers and administrators from hitting their students. Eva Svedling, a sociologist with the organization Save the Children Sweden, tells host Michel Martin how the ban has affected the lives of children and parents in the country. Then, Martin turns to the program's regular panel of moms — Jolene Ivey, Dannette Tucker and Aracely Panameno — for more on their decision to spank, or not spank, their children, and if an anti-hitting ban like Sweden's could ever be passed in the U.S.

via www.npr.org

Very interesting NPR story on corporal punishment. The spankers seem to have a hard time understanding that the representative from Sweden is not saying that you should not discipline your children. She is stating that you have to draw a line between violence and non-violence with children. She then makes the point that the child is an individual also deserving of human rights, and we would not allow this behavior towards other individuals.

Is America Ready For A "Spanking Ban?" - Spanking - Jezebel

One New Year's, my family went to stay at one of those Catskills resorts, now closed, that catered to Jews of a certain era. Think Dirty Dancing with less Swayze, more sour cream. And one day someone smacked a child:

via jezebel.com

Once again, the spanking issue :) I for one, would love to see a spanking ban in the United States, much as we have a ban on hitting adults.

Today's Mark Twain

Blake Smith, an Atlanta Skeptic, (aka Doctor Atlantis) is one of the funniest people I know. Yesterday on Twitter, I asked a friend what I should wear to meet Richard Dawkins next week. Blake's response? My selfish jeans!!

This morning on FB I posted a story from the UK Daily Telegraph “Why Men Write Short Emails and Women Write Emotional Messages.

Here is Blake’s response and why I believe he is a modern day Mark Twain:

I found the subject of this posting so moving. I remember one time in Spring - when I was much younger - a fine morning found me walking in downtown Marietta, GA. The weather was so lovely that it made me tear up just a bit. (Or perhaps that was my allergies kicking in... memories are often confusing.) At any rate, on this particular day I went... Read More by an antique store. Marietta has a lot of these. And I saw a book there - all musty and worn, but clearly often read. I'd never heard of it before. The authors name had been worn from the cover. Yet someone took great care of the book despite how often they read it. In the pages were little notes that said things like "How true" and it made me wonder how long people have had highlighters because some of the paragraphs were carefully underlined in red pencil instead of the familiar yellow swaths of modern notation. Anyway the ambulatory effects of reading the subject of this story from the telegraph almost made me lose sight of the purpose of my posting this reply in the first place.

Let me get back to my story. I had to buy this little book. I wanted to get to know all I could about it and the person who'd owned it. There was an Ex Libris sticker inside with a name, "Whitney A. Colmby" and that was all I had to go by. A sticker on the cover of the book said $11. In my ratty wallet I only had four dollars. So I took the book up to the proprietor - this was before check-cards became so popular - and I asked the owner if he'd hold the book for me while I went to the bank and got some money. He agreed and I walked a couple of blocks over to the ATM and got out a twenty. (The machine only gave 20's. And at this time in my life that often meant I didn't have enough cash to get out any cash because my balance didn't exceed the minimum withdrawal. Sad times.)

But this time I was flush with cash because it was a Saturday and I'd just been paid (via direct deposit) the night before. With my twenty firm in hand I went back to the antique shop to conclude my purchase. When I got back the antique store owner was reading the book! He was an older gentleman, perhaps in his late 50's, and I noticed his eyes were somewhat teary. I asked, "Are you okay?" He said that he was. He'd just started flipping through the book while he waited on my return. Business was slow that morning as it often is early on Saturdays in Marietta. He'd come acoss a passage in the book where the owner had underlined a long passage and written a note by it. The section was all about the importance of finding a good husband and how that exemplary servitude in a marriage is best rewarded by wonderful children, or at worst, a great reward in heaven. And out to the side in lovely cursive script Whitney A. Colmby had, in beautiful cursive, written, "Meh."

Anyway, the title of the Telegraph piece reminded me of that.

For more of Blake's funny goodness, follow him on Twitter @doctoratlantis, visit his website, or listen to Monster Talk the podcast he does with skeptiocal investigators Ben Radford and Karen Stollznow.

You Down with ODD*? Yeah, You Know Me!

*oppositional defiant disorder

I just received a lovely email from Kennedy Goodkey, who enjoyed Kylie Sturgess's interview with me on the Skeptic Zone Podcast. The interview was about the different types of activism within the skeptical movement. Kennedy has a blog called "Confessions of An Asshole Skeptic" and has placed me on the Asshole Skeptic Honour Roll. I feel as if I have been training for that placement my whole life :)

The Skeptic movement has so many wonderful, nice, highly intelligent and ever polite people in it (Richard Saunders, DJ Grothe, Daniel Loxton, Derek and Swoopy, Dr. Rachie, Evan Bernstein, The Iwan's, Jeff Wagg, Ginger Campbell, and plenty more that I as an asshole have forgotten). These are the people who need to act as spokespersons for skepticism.

There are also the skeptics that are generally nice and professional, but do not suffer fools lightly (James Randi, Phil Plait, Steve Novella, Kylie Sturgess, Tim Farley, Maria Walters, Ben Radford, Joe Nickell (swoon), Shermer, Dunning, and again, probably a few others). Watching Joe Nickell switch from his uber professional demeanor to his equally professional but clearly righteous tone when calling out the ghost hunters at Dragon Con this year was a highly "stimulating" experience for me. Ben Radford did the same thing last year when he told a priest that "unlike the Bible, at least science updates its books when it learns it is wrong."  These are the folk who need to represent us whenever there is any type of public debate with believers, anti-vaxxers, and woo mongers.

Finally, you have your assholes. I am hesitant to place anyone in this category other than myself and the self-described Asshole Skeptic, but I may be willing to make an exception for certain tall magicians, only because he has called himself an asshole as well. The assholes are the ones you need to engage the opposite side's assholes.

In terms of skeptical outreach, I like to imagine that Daniel Loxton, Dr. Rachie, and Richard Saunders will get us in the door, Randi, Nickell, Radford and Novella will lay down the law, and assholes such as myself can be hidden from view until we need to rally the troops with inflammatory remarks or get into ridiculous yet funny screaming matches (real OR online) with the asshole believers.

So why are assholes such assholes?

My son had some difficulty with authority at school last year (genetics much?) and the school psychologist wanted to label him with oppositional defiant disorder. Upon hearing this, I went to EVERY therapist/psychologist/psychiatrist friend I had, described his symptoms, got their opinion, and systematically used the DSM IV (diagnostic guidelines for mental illness) to completely demolish the school psychologist's report and diagnosis, not to mention her competence. Bottom line, he had adjustment disorder and anxiety, not oppositional defiant disorder. This was later confirmed by a several practitioners at the doctoral level who spent more than two hours on his case.

After the meeting where I presented MY findings to the school psychologist, my son's Nazi teacher, and the principal, my husband looked over at me and said "Sweetie, you were right. Hollis does NOT have oppositional defiant disorder."

I beamed. He was proud of me!! Even after 10 years of marriage, there is no other person in the world whose approval means more to me :)

Then he said "YOU however, sure as hell have it. In fact,your entire family has it."

He was not wrong. But I was still right.

Two New Words - from Promiscuous Girls

This piece is also cross posted on aagblog and was a collaboration between the two of us. She claim that I did all the work, but I think that is just her way of saying I am a bigger slut. :)

Not long ago my pal Heidi and I were talking about our mutual intractable sluttiness. We intended to work together on this post but I'll be perfectly honest--Heidi did all the work.

Read on and make sure to answer the question we pose in the comments. --aag

------

When I was a girl, I couldn’t wait to grow up and be promiscuous. Seriously. I was born with a libido that would put many a man to shame, and had mastered my own domain many years earlier. I was ready to venture into the big leagues, and because I was raised with parents that taught me the reality of sex, I knew that it was also a responsibility.

I planned my first sexual encounter with the same attention to Martha Stewart brings to flower arranging. I knew exactly what I wanted, how I wanted it to “go down”  (pun intended – that was a requirement for the big night) and what the safety precautions were to be (me on the Pill for 3 months minimum, condom of course). In fact, I prepared for the big night so much that even my mother kind of laughed at my expectations. However, my unwillingness to settle not only led me to what was an amazing first sexual experience that set the tone for the rest of my life (thanks Lee!) but also to ideas about what the purpose of sex was. And the purpose of sex, simply put, was to get off. Preferably with a nice person you enjoy talking to as well, although that is not a requirement.

I had not planned on falling in love with the person I had my first sexual experience with, but hey, it happened. In fact, it made the experience even more awesome in a romantic teen girl way, but more importantly, I liked him. The love and relationship piece however, did get in the way of the promiscuity aspect.

After I followed the above boyfriend to College, which rarely if EVER works out, we of course broke up. And here was my chance! Slutdom here I come, casual sex everywhere!! Him and him and him and maybe even her! And of course, you know what happened. I slept with a guy on the first date (without knowing his last name, I might add), and of course, he called. And continued to call. And we fell in love and dated for a long time. Once again promiscuity would have to wait.

While dating this guy, I became friends with my astronomy teachers assistant (SCIENCE!).He was a nice guy, a little older, and sweet as could be. When the boyfriend above broke up with me, the TA asked me out, and again, I was very excited at the prospect of casual sex! Woo hoo! Sex with someone different! Needless to say, I repeated the same mistake, slept with him on the first date, and immediately started dating him. Slut FAIL! Perhaps I should have been a lesbian?

This relationship lasted awhile, and when he and I broke up, I made myself take an oath of celibacy. Not because I thought sex was bad, but because I did not want another relationship. I wanted to find myself, grow, and all that stuff, and thought that a man would get in the way of that. So instead I focused on myself, my career, and friends. Of course, one of those friends eventually ensnared me in his web of sexy engineering goodness, and that was it. Chances for promiscuity were gone, as I had found the man I would marry. However, it was a small sacrifice to make to find (or find again) the only man in the world I could have even begun to imagine marrying and raising children with.

I sucked at promiscuity. I tried repeatedly to be a free spirit, put myself into sexual situations with men I did not know, and expected them not to call. But they did. Although I would love to blame it on the quality of my “game,” I am pretty sure it can be boiled down to a few basic reasons: I did not drink and therefore never slept with someone drunk that I would not have even talked with sober; I was a fat girl – therefore the dudes I slept with were at least not shallow enough to hate women who looked different; and finally, when I had sex, I was responsible for my own body, safety AND orgasms. I never slept with a man to “get” him, not did I sleep with a guy to get attention. I was an active participant in the sex, and EXPECTED that it would be good for me as well. I made it very clear up front what my boundaries were, and that if that was not ok, then later tater!

I know my experience is unusual, because I was able to watch friends of mine in high school and college as they navigated their own sexual journeys. However, as much as I loved my friends, and wanted to support them, it became painful to watch women who were FAR MORE ATTRACTIVE THAN ME sleep with the biggest losers in the world, and then tolerate douchebaggy behavior from them. I had friends in high school and college who were into the double digits of lovers before they knew that anything other than missionary style was possible. I wanted to scream at them, for fuck’s sake, do the entire football team if you want, BUT GET OFF! The female orgasm is NOT OPTIONAL!

As I was talking one night with my friend (squee – love to call her my friend) aag of aagblog.com, we discussed this and what the word "promiscuous" means. We decided that we need TWO words for that concept. Listen in?

aag: There's lots of sex because sex is awesome.

Heidi: Like Samantha on Sex and the City, even though that show was kind of stupid.

aag: Yes! Then there's lots of sex because you're needy and want something OTHER than the sex.

Heidi: Exactly.

aag: Do those words exist?

Heidi: No, but we should create them.

Heidi: A la Dan Savage and santorum.

If it were not already tied to open relationships/marriages, "open" would be a great word. As in “She looks all uptight, but I hear she is deliciously open!” Or “I hear he is really, really open. She is SO lucky to go out with him tonight!” Or even “He is so open he slept with her AND her boyfriend!”

Promiscuity and casual sex are not bad things. They can both be very lovely. However, self-respect and putting yourself first should be the requirements! Can you imagine this message given to girls?

Sally: Mom, I think Bill is really cute, but I just don’t know about him. I am not sure I am ready to go all the way with him.

Mom: Well dear, are your masturbating to orgasm? You know what I always say, you can’t be a good lover to someone else, until you are a good lover to the most important person in your life!

Sally: But mom, maybe he can help me feel sexier and get more in the mood.

Mom: Pish posh, young lady! If you want to grow up to be a proper, open woman with a healthy life, you need to take control of your own body. Now I am going to give you my credit card, and you go down to the local Toys in Babeland and they will help you out! This is your health, young lady, and you need to take it seriously!

So now we pose the question to you, our readers. We need two separate words for people who are promiscuous: One for those who have lots of sex that is damaging and disrespectful to mind and body, and another for those who have lots of sex that is fun, awesome, and life affirming.

Thoughts? Suggestions? Leave 'em in the comments below and head over to aag's to say howdy too.